A Stache from the Past

At the Quahog Flea Market, Lois bars Peter from spending $600 on a Mr. Potato Head. Following a disappointing day, Peter discovers the new H.A.R.M. initiative promoted by Tom Selleck, whose commercial inspires him to get a reverse mortgage and nab more spending money. He ends up getting the toy, but this runs the risk of losing the Griffin Home. While lamenting to his friends, Peter catches the attention of Mayor Wild West, who has a history with Selleck and, after initially saying he wouldn't, offers to help him track him down and get his money back. Arriving in New York City, the two manage to find Selleck, but he has them arrested before they can confront him. Upon escaping jail, they get themselves hired as extras on Blue Bloods to get close to Selleck, eventually confronting him over his past. Selleck reconciles with Wild and writes Peter a check, getting him his house back, but in exchange, Peter demands he get one line in the show.

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Meanwhile, Stewie sells off a teapot he picked up at the flea market for a ton of money, allowing him to buy more antiques to sell. Brian offers to help him at his own booth the following weekend, where Stewie shows him the ropes on how to sell things, before the duo find themselves having to complete against Bruce's booth. The teams agree that whoever gets outsold by the other at the end of tomorrow will never get to sell at the flea market again. Stewie and Brian end up winning through a sheer stroke of luck, much to Bruce's despair, only to shut down their own booth after finding the job too tiresome. Stewie decides to make his exit from the flea market by announcing that it's within 500 feet of a school, scaring off pretty much every booth owner.