Meg Goes to College

Peter confesses to the guys that he's torn between Meg's desire to go to college, and saving the money for beer. Thanks to a faked application from Principal Shepherd, she finds herself admitted to Brown University. When moving her into her dorm, Peter finds an open bed and decides to stay. His stunts wear on Meg's nerves, until she calls him out for being a fraud. He retorts publicly that her own admittance was a fraud and the Dean suspends her.

Back home, they try to figure out their next move and Brian points out that if she can actually do the things on her application then she has nothing to hide. She aces all of the tests put before her, but faces the final challenge of windsurfing over Providence Falls. As she crashes over the falls, Lois begs Peter to call for help but his phone is blocked after nuisance calls to 911.

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Meanwhile, Brian begins to find chasing squirrels harder to do as he gets older, so Stewie offers to hook him up with a personal trainer, which turns out to be himself, as is a nutritionist. Taking matters into his own hands, he enlists the aid of neighbor boy and Stewie's rival, Doug. However, when he sees that Stewie feels let down after failing him, decides to stop exercising completely. As Doug reveals that he can't get down the stairs by himself, Brian carries him and Stewie relishes a small victory over his rival as he timidly walks down the stairs as well.