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Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris' delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris' romantic gestures.
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After someone steals Stewie's trike, Peter sets out to find it. He and the guys interrogate a kid in the neighborhood selling lemonade and find that he stole it after Peter notices that the ice in his pitcher hadn't melted in the three hot hours that he claimed to be there. The successful feeling and an abundance of clients inspire them to open a detective agency. Pursuing a rash of thefts, they watch hidden camera footage of Chris sneaking in and taking things. Searching his room, they find a life-size female doll made out of the stolen items as he arrives to protect “Heather.”
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The doll creeps out Lois and she thinks it may be a reflection of Peter and her sex life. Peter has a talk with Chris and finds that the doll isn't being used for sex, as Chris imagines she has been holding out so Peter tries to make Chris sexy for the doll. When she collapses into his lap, Chris takes it as wanting sex although Lois chews out Peter for ignoring her instructions to make him get rid of it. She is almost fooled when flowers arrive for Heather but then realizes that Chris treats his doll better than Peter does her.
After finding out that Heather and Chris have a picnic planned, Lois asks if she and Peter can tag along so Peter can be reminded what romance is like, but his stupidity repeatedly backfires in Lois' face. Fed up with jealousy, Lois takes the doll in the night. She denies seeing it the next morning and encourages Chris to move on. Instead, he cries over her leaving. Lois sees him depressed and decides to show him where she buried the doll in the woods after stabbing it. She apologies, but encourages him to treat a real girlfriend like he treated the doll and he'll be happy. That night, Peter admits that he did learn a lesson to treat Lois like the garbage Heather was made from as Chris arrives with a dominatrix who knows Peter. He tries to fake taking a knee as in football to bring the end of the show early when Lois presses to find out why she knows his name.