Faith No More

At the Quahog Veterinary Clinic, Peter and Lois decide to give Brian a new tracking chip. Brian immediately falls in love with Emma, the nurse responsible for installing it, given her dog-friendly lifestyle, but is turned off by her Evangelical beliefs. He nonetheless presses on, pretending to be Christian, but snaps upon learning that Emma won't sleep with him out of wedlock, renouncing Christianity as a whole. After wishing that the religion would disappear, he gets the idea to use Stewie's Time Machine to prevent it from ever existing. Arriving in ancient Israel, Brian begins to hunt for Jesus, but is intercepted by Stewie, who tracked him via his new chip. With Stewie quickly distracted, Brian begins to upstage Jesus in hopes of preventing others from worshipping him, but realizes that Jesus only does what he does because God makes him do so.

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Brian learns that Jesus' real dream is to do stand-up comedy and convinces him to talk to God about it, who does not take the news well. Brian manages to ease the tension by playing a modern ballad through his phone. Jesus succeeds at stand-up, but is ultimately still crucified. Nonetheless, Brian and Stewie's actions do manage to alter the present, creating a world in which Judaism is the world's dominant religion. Brian appears on board with this, until he learns about the Shabbat. Stewie time travels again to prevent Judaism, resulting in a world completely free of religion, although he and Brian are punished for their actions by God, who is now stuck as a mailman. Brian attempts to stand up for this new world, but he and Stewie are beaten up and forced to reverse their actions before singing hymns at church.