Saving Private Brian
Chris is approached to join the military. Brian goes to the recruiting headquarters to voice his opinion, when Stewie signs himself and Brian up for the military. They pass Boot Camp and are shipped to Iraq, where they try to get honorably discharged by doing anything they can. Meanwhile, Chris decides to join a goth band.
Next Episode
A US Army recruiter visits Chris' school, giving a picture of army life consisting of women in bikinis, money, and Oscar awards. Chris is impressed, and tells his parents he wants to join. While Peter is up for the idea, Lois overrules, and decides to find another activity to distract him.
Splashlog
Peter notices a metal band practicing at the school, and introduces Chris. They doubt Chris can sing, but are impressed by his scream when Peter drops a piano on Chris’ foot. The band, Splash Log, is a hit at a school dance, but the noise and antisocial attitude Chris picks up bothers Lois and Peter who both think it’s much worse than when Peter tried to cover up his farts by coughing during a PTA meeting. They notice he’s a fan of Marilyn Manson, so they confront Manson at the Grammy Awards. He goes back to the house to talk to Chris. Manson encourages Chris to respect his parents and be a responsible citizen. He also suggests that Peter and Chris share an activity like fishing.
Arrmytrainingsir
Meanwhile, Brian is outraged by the army’s distortions, and, along with Stewie, goes to the recruiting station to complain. However, Stewie is impressed by the guns and enlists himself and Brian. Brian does poorly at boot camp, not least because of lack of physical exercise prior to joining - and plans to desert, but Stewie encourages him to stay, pointing out that Brian has never completed anything he's ever started. They pass basic training and are deployed to Iraq, but after a terrorist attack on their patrol, attempt to get discharged.
They first attempt to show that they are 'not Army material' in front of other soldiers by pretending to be gay, but when an officer asks if he can join in, they give up. Next, they attempt to go home wounded. After a small debate over Stewie asking Brian to shoot him in the foot they both attempt to shoot each other in the foot. Stewie hits, but Brian misses. Stewie changes his mind, but Brian chases him while hopping on his good foot. Stewie attempts to pretend he has been shot, but Brian shoots him again for good measure. However, this does not work either as the Army takes whatever they can find. Fortunately for them, however, democracy abruptly kicks in exactly as George W. Bush predicted, allowing them to go home.