Screwed the Pooch

Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Joe are playing poker; Joe suggests they take Peter to Atlantic City, but Peter and his family are going to visit his in-laws, despite the fact that his father-in-law hates him. Peter starts cultivating himself, without success. Meanwhile, Brian’s sex drive becomes obvious when he sniffs the genital parts of a female dog at the Quahog Dog Park. Lois and Peter are oblivious to it until they catch him masturbating in the bathroom. Lois believes it is normal, and suggests that Brian go with them to get time off, which he does.

The family goes to visit Lois’ parents, and Peter finally wins the respect and friendship of Carter Pewterschmidt, Lois’s wealthy and elitist father.

The cordiality is destroyed when Brian humps Seabreeze, Pewterschmidt’s prize-winning racing greyhound, at the racetrack. Seabreeze ends up pregnant, and Brian is immediately blamed. Brian wants to raise the puppies himself, but Carter disapproves, so Brian elopes with Seabreeze.

Turnerdogs
With help from Michael Eisner and Bill Gates, Seabreeze is tracked down to a motel and the custody case goes to court. Carter brings up sordid details of Brian’s past and personality to destroy his chances at trial. Carter also tries to bribe Peter by stating he'll include him during his activities again if Peter testifies against Brian, but Peter backs out at the last second and states that Brian deserves to see his puppies.

It is decided by the judge that in order to have custody of his puppies, he must get neutered. Brian faces a tough decision: would he rather have custody of his puppies or keep his testicles? Just as Brian almost goes under the knife, he, Lois, and Peter discover that the puppies are born, but they don’t resemble Brian, they resemble Ted Turner. Carter accuses Seabreeze of being a whore and abandons her and Brian goes home with his testicles intact.