Secondhand Spoke
Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.
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Brian gives Chris a ride to school where he is confronted by bullies. Stewie sees this and feels sorry for him. Stewie goes to see Chris about his problem and offers to help him. He goes to school and preps him to insult the bullies back but Chris flubs it so Stewie hides in Chris' backpack to coach him directly which is a success. The bullies move onto another target in Neil Goldman and Chris intervenes and he soon finds his gift for gab courtesy of Stewie has an unexpected positive side when he finds himself popular and nominated for class president. Stewie feels his work is done and wants to leave Chris on his own, but Chris kidnaps him to keep him handy. Stewie is forced to stay in Chris' backpack until Chris leaves him in the restroom one day; and, after getting his legs free, Stewie tries to run blind but fails. At the class president debate, Stewie points out that Chris has become the bully himself and he realizes the truth. He steps on the stage to announce he is dropping out of the race and asks Stewie's forgiveness. Stewie congratulates him for his guts but a couple of the bullies committed suicide over his insults.
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Meanwhile, Peter takes umbrage at Stella taking extra breaks to smoke and decides to take up smoking. He soon begins smoking every chance he gets to stop whatever task he is doing. When Peter's smoking begins to affect his sex life with Lois, she has him get rid of it but finds he is unable to break the habit. Peter starts sneaking his smokes into every little task and when he is unable to break away, be becomes fidgety and irritated. The smoking has a detrimental effect on his appearance and Lois takes him to the doctor. Dr. Hartman refuses to help and bribes them to leave. At a stop smoking clinic, Mr. Stone wants Peter to be the face of their anti-smoking campaign but Peter has to continue smoking to maintain his poor health.
Peter appears in advertisements and finds himself a celebrity, but his health continues to suffer to Lois' irritation. After Mr. Stone discovers that Peter is unremarkable after a NASCAR event, Peter is cut loose to his sorrow. At home, Peter announces he is ready to go back to normal but the family confronts him with the fact that everything he has done to his body is irreversible. Peter calls for a do-over of the ending with just a shot of the house and music and finds this still doesn't resolve his problem.