The Heartbreak Dog
Meg begins working at a retirement community and starts stealing from the residents. Then Chris finds out and wants in on the heist. When the residents catch them, they blackmail them and force the thieves to listen to all of their boring stories.
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The neighbors celebrate Bonnie's 46th birthday, during which Joe shows videos of when he was healthy compared to the present. After using the bathroom, Brian hears Bonnie crying and tries to comfort her, which results in them sharing a kiss. Shocked, they separate, leaving Brian worried about going too far. Later that night, he tells Peter and extracts a promise of his silence. When Joe and Bonnie show up for a game night, Bonnie steps out to get some more wine and Brian assures her that he didn't tell anyone, but when they return, Peter spills the beans playing charades.
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Brian tries to apologize and Joe seems to brush it off, although he has the Prius towed and pranks him by knocking him out at a bar and filming him in boots. Brian calls a gathering to talk things over with Joe and try to get him to call off his revenge, although everyone does more damage to both Brian and Bonnie by describing their shortfalls. Brian blows up and steps in to defend her and they decide to take off together. Heading out, they are proud of themselves until they run out of gas. As Joe mopes about Bonnie leaving, the pair are stuck working in a diner to make enough money to continue. They start to fight until Bonnie slaps reality into Brian. Joe finds the diner thanks to a computer chip in Brian's ear and makes things up with Bonnie, although he shoots Brian in the kneecap.
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Meanwhile, at school, Principal Shepherd announces community service projects for the students. Meg ends up working in a nursing home where she finds that the residents are not exactly pleasant to work with. While taking care of a pain-in-the-neck patient, she steals a broach and is happy to have gotten away with it, but when Chris stops by, he decides he wants in on Meg's theft and they team up to steal from an easy mark whom they convince has died. They live surrounded by their stolen goods, until their conscience starts to get the better of them and they decide to do the right thing and return the stuff. But as they try to bring it back, they are caught and forced to spend more time attending to the residents in order to keep them from calling the police.