Veteran Guy
After Peter and the guys get caught pretending to be military veterans and are found guilty of the Stolen Valor Act, a judge sentences them to join the U.S. Coast Guard.
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When Peter gets special attention after putting on a naval ball cap he finds at a thrift store, he buys more for the guys and convinces reluctant navel vet Quagmire to join in with them. But when star of The Last Ship Eric Dane points out their caps bear the fictitious ship from the show, they are arrested for stolen valor, except for Quagmire. As punishment, they are sentenced to join the marines but manage to get it reduced to service in the coast guard out of Fort Lauderdale during spring break, with Quagmire joining in with them at the urging of Ida. He tries to lead a good example of professionalism, but the guys just want to treat it as a joke so he quits in frustration.
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After he leaves, they overhear some "disturbed" college frat boys planning an attack and later find out they plan on bombing a booze cruise. The guys board but find themselves outmatched until Quagmire arrives with a machine gun from the coast guard ship. They are taunted by one of the "mentally ill" youths that they won't be able to find the bomb in the foam on the ship, but Peter succeeds and tries to send it away on a jet ski that he liberated earlier, only to have it return to him. Quagmire uses a grappling crane on the coast guard ship to send it further away where it explodes harmlessly. As he starts to use an oft-repeated tag line from the Olive Garden which leads to a cutaway gag of them gorging on spaghetti, he is shot by Cleveland who is sick of the pasta.
Having completed his service, Peter returns home where he acknowledges being bisexual, like all members of the coast guard.